


you're in my veins (and I cannot get you out)

by Miss_Six



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, But I swear it gets better, F/M, Terminal Illnesses, Vampires, happy friggin halloween y'all, it's gonna get dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-11 14:55:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16477685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Six/pseuds/Miss_Six
Summary: She’s 15 and he’s 17 when she tells him about her fears that he’s going to leave her behind, because they tell each other everything, and he reassures her as best he can. “That’s never gonna happen, kiddo,” he tells her. “I don’t even know what I’d do without you.”That’s when Tessa Virtue realizes she’s in love with her best friend.[or]The vampire!Scott/Night World AU that I can't believe didn't exist until now.





	1. the bullet you never saw coming

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this borrows heavily from "Secret Vampire", the first book in LJ Smith's Night World series. And by borrows heavily, I mean the major plot points are the same, several scenes are mostly the same, and I'm sticking with the mythology from the series. I've had to shift some things around given that I want to try to keep everyone in character as much as possible, and trimmed the story down a LOT, so hopefully I've given it enough of my own twist that it'll still be enjoyable for anyone who's read the series. I really just wanted to a.) finally make Scott a vampire and b.) give y'all something fun for Halloween! Thank you for reading!
> 
> P.S. Playing fast and loose with medical knowledge here, but, you know. Vampires.

Tessa Virtue is seven years old when the Moirs move to London, and their son Scott is nine, two years ahead of her. This makes little difference when he’s small for his age and she’s a bit tall for hers, but it is helpful when she spots the schoolyard bullies gang up on him during recess and decides she’s not going to stand for that today. Despite her quiet nature she starts throwing elbows and threatening to tell parents and they disperse, unwilling to fight a first grade girl.

She walks over to where he’s still sitting on the ground after being pushed down, and offers a hand to help him up. “I’m Tessa,” she says, with that open nature young children have.

“I’m Scott,” he says, his voice small and pale like his complexion. He takes her hand and lets her help pull him up. His grip is stronger than his build would imply, but gentle all the same. “Thanks for that.”

“They’re just big meanies,” Tessa says. “Do you want to come over to my house after school?”

And so their friendship begins with little ceremony, just a boy and a girl on a swing set behind the Virtues’ house.

 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 

They endure the slings and arrows of primary school, the teasing and whispers over Scott’s behavior, which admittedly is sometimes odd and morbid. He seemed to have an unusual fascination with death for a young boy, and on one occasion he took Tessa over to a small field just beyond the borders of the school playground where a dead rabbit lies curled in the long grass.

Seeing the prone figure of the animal with its cloudy eyes had upset Tessa, but Scott had been calm and matter-of-fact, as though it was a situation he’d encountered many times before. They fought, their first real fight, a fight that had lasted three days until Scott apologized and promised not to do anything like that again.

He keeps his promise and they even survive their age difference, when Scott leaves her for middle school and then again for high school, and Tessa finds herself competing with schoolwork and his burgeoning interest in girls. The competition is in her head, mostly–Scott makes time for her whenever he can, and although her parents are no longer okay with him spending the night, sometimes he sneaks in through her window and they lie on her bed, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars on her ceiling and talking about anything and everything late into the night.

She’s 15 and he’s 17 when she tells him about her fears that he’s going to leave her behind, because they tell each other everything, and he reassures her as best he can. “That’s never gonna happen, kiddo,” he tells her. “I don’t even know what I’d do without you.”

That’s when Tessa Virtue realizes she’s in love with her best friend.

 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 

Being in love with Scott is a special kind of painful. Despite his beginnings as the strange kid with the pale complexion, by 19 he’s boyishly handsome, but with intense hazel eyes that Tessa swears are a different shade every time she looks at him. It’s a powerful combination for girls–he’s approachable, but just dangerous enough to be exciting. At least, that’s what would seem to explain the parade of on again, off again girlfriends.

(If pressed Tessa might say yeah, they might look a little bit like her, but they’re older and more sophisticated and have curves where she has none. In other words, everything she isn’t.)

It’s easy enough to push it out of her mind when they’re together, when he’s just Scott and she’s just Tessa and they go dancing at clubs with weird names that play music with loud bass under strobing lights that might give her a headache if she was paying attention, but she’s too busy dancing up a storm to notice.

It’s so simple when it’s just the two of them lounging in her room, Scott on the floor with his laptop, playing her songs he thinks she’ll like while she’s telling him how she’d choreograph them and sometimes demonstrating for him.

It gets complicated when one of his girlfriends is part of the equation. They never like her, but what girlfriend would be happy about her boyfriend spending lots of time with another girl? Tessa swallows her insecurities, because Scott has kept his promise to always be her best friend, but still she worries what will happen when he finds a girl he likes. Like...really likes.

Tessa opens her eyes to the sound of the doorbell, then looks at her clock–it’s the first day of summer break, so of course she’s slept in as late as she could get away with. And if it’s Scott at the door (which, of course it’s Scott at the door) 11am is as late as he’s going to let her get away with.

She stumbles down the stairs, still in her oversized t-shirt and pajama shorts, and flings the door open to find Scott grinning at her. “Morning, sleeping beauty,” he says, and she blushes.

“Didn’t I tell you not to come over until at _least_ after noon?” Tessa grumbles, leading him into the kitchen, where her mother and sister are already cleaning up after breakfast.

“There you are, there’s some pancakes and bacon left,” her mother says, then sees what Tessa is wearing, then sees Scott right behind her. “Oh, Tessa, can’t you put on something decent?”

“It’s just Scott, mom,” Tessa retorts. “He’s seen me in my pajamas before.”

“Good morning, Mrs. Virtue,” Scott says, and she gives him a nod and a kind but wary smile. Her mother has been on shaky terms with Scott ever since she caught them kissing behind the shed when they were 12 and 14. It was just practice kissing, because Tessa had been curious–their mouths hadn’t even been open, and it never happened again, but Kate Virtue had a long memory and an active imagination. “Hey, Jordan.”

“Hey Scott,” Jordan greets him on her way out of the kitchen, just as wary, although she’s got an entirely different reason for keeping her distance. Jordan is the only person on the planet who knows how Tessa feels about him, and given his steady stream of girlfriends, she’s less than thrilled about it–she’s certain Scott would toss her aside just like he has with every other girl, despite Tessa’s insistence that he would _never._

“Is Cass coming out with us tonight?” Tessa asks as she loads a plate with pancakes, trying to sound casual but secretly hoping Scott will say no. Tessa’s going to be a senior next year, and Scott’s just finished his first year at Western, so of course a celebratory night of dancing is in order–and Tessa would prefer if it was just the two of them.

“I dunno,” Scott says, looking vaguely uncomfortable. “I’m just...not really feeling it anymore.”

Tessa ignores the quiet snort that comes from her mother at the sink. “Haven’t you only been seeing her for, like, a month?” she asks, trying not to sound as elated as she feels.

“Yeah, but you know me,” Scott says with a shrug and a smirk.

Tessa rolls her eyes and turns to the table but only makes it a step when pain rips through her from deep in her abdomen, making her involuntarily double over in pain. The plate goes flying as her knees buckle, and all Tessa can do is wait to hit the floor-

-which doesn’t happen, and she slowly becomes aware of an arm around her waist, supporting her almost completely. She turns her head to see Scott, whose right arm is wrapped around her from the front, and she realizes that while the pancakes are all over the tile floor, Scott’s left hand is holding her plate. _How did he get here so quickly?_ she wonders dimly, as her mother rushes to her side.

“Tessa? Tessa!” Kate puts a hand under Tessa’s chin and lifts her head to look at her. “What happened?” she asks, looking between Tessa and Scott.

“It’s nothing, mom,” Tessa says as she stands back up, feeling her strength start to return. “Just a cramp or something. At least Scott caught me before I cracked my head on the table,” she adds, hoping maybe the act will smooth things over between her mother and her best friend.

“Thank you, Scott,” her mother says, using a paper towel to scoop pancake off the floor. “Maybe I should call the doctor. That seemed like a little more than just a cramp.”

“Mom, I’m _fine,”_ Tessa insists, ready to read off a list of reasons why she’s perfectly all right, but stops when Scott puts a hand on her arm.

“I agree with your mom,” he says quietly. “That was not a normal reaction to a cramp, you almost passed out. You haven’t been sleeping well-”

“How do you know I haven’t been sleeping well?” Tessa asks sharply. That was something she’d take care not to mention to him, so he wouldn’t worry.

“Just, I mean–you’ve been looking really tired,” he says lamely, but before Tessa can question him further her mother cuts in.

“It’s two against one, Tessa. I’m calling Dr. Hintz. It could be food poisoning or something.” She grabs her cell phone off the counter and starts scrolling through her contacts.

“Traitor,” Tessa mutters at Scott, and he looks at her with a mixture of concern and exasperation.

“I’m just worried about you,” he says, and the emotion in his voice makes her irritation melt away. “What if that happened while we were out tonight? Just go to the doctor, and if she says it’s nothing, then we go out dancing.”

“You mean _when_ she says it’s nothing,” Tessa corrects him. “I can’t believe I have to spend the first day of break in the doctor’s office. And I can’t believe you actually agree with my mother.”

“There’s a first time for everything, right, kiddo?” he says. “Call me when you’re done with the doc, I’ll come pick you up and we’ll go get ice cream or something.”

“I guess that makes up for it,” she says as he hugs her and presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Bribery will get you everywhere.”

 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 

Scott does not believe that it’s nothing. He’d known that she wasn’t sleeping well because her body’s natural rhythms had been off for the last couple of months, just a minor shift at first but the changes became greater and greater with each passing day, and he knows this isn’t the first time she’s felt that pain. Whatever is happening inside her, it’s bad, and it’s only getting worse.

His worried thoughts consume him all the way back to his house, where he has to sit in the driveway in his car for a few moments to collect himself before going inside. “Scottie, can you come help me for a minute?” his mother calls out from the kitchen, and Scott’s heart sinks. Apparently he wasn’t able to calm his turbulent thoughts quickly enough.

“Sure, ma.” Scott walks into the kitchen where his mother is making her famous chocolate chip cookies for a school bake sale–though all three of her boys had graduated from the school system, Alma Moir’s cookies were so good she still got requests for them a couple of times a year.

“So what’s got you all riled up, Scottie?” his mother asks, not mincing words as she hands him a bowl of butter and sugar to cream.

Scott pushes the metal whisk into the softened butter, trying not to bend it in half. “Tessa’s sick,” he says finally. “Really sick.”

His mother stops cold, the spoonful of cookie dough she was about to place on the baking sheet falling off with a soft _plop._ “You know we can’t do anything about that,” she says, softly but firmly.

“But, ma-”

 _“Scott.”_ She cuts him off sharply, in a tone he’s never heard his mother use before. “Now you know I think Tessa’s a nice girl, and I do care for her. But you can’t help her like that, and you know why.”

Scott’s grip tightens around the whisk, and this time it does bend in half. He lets out a frustrated sigh and throws the ruined utensil away. “I just don’t understand why we can’t-”

Alma stops him with a hand on his arm. “Now, Scott,” she says, handing him another whisk, “I’m going to ask you a question, and you need to give me an honest answer. Are you in love with that girl?”

It’s a question meant to catch him off guard, but he’s been expecting it for years now, and he’s only surprised it took his mother this long to ask him. He answers her with a calm, practiced tone. “No, ma,” he lies. “I’m not in love with her. But she’s my friend.”

“I know she is, Scottie,” his mother says kindly, “and I’m sorry you have to lose a friend in this way. But this isn’t just about her, or even just about you. It’s about all of us. It’s a terrible choice to make, and I wish you didn’t have to make it. But you know what you’ll have to do.”

“Yeah,” Scott says finally. “I do know what I have to do.”

It’s a good thing his mind is shielded, because if Tessa is as sick as he thinks she is, he’ll have to save her. Only now he has to figure out how to save his family, too.

 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 

 _Worst first day of summer ever,_ Tessa thinks to herself from a hospital bed. The doctor had not, as Tessa had expected, prodded her a few times and then sent them on their way. Instead, when Tessa grimaced as Dr. Hintz pushed on a particular spot, she had looked mildly concerned and sent them straight to the hospital. “I just want a few more tests before we start making any guesses,” she’d said.

“A few more tests” had turned out to be more poking and prodding, getting what seemed like a pint of blood drawn, and a procedure she had to be put under anaesthesia for that involved putting a tube down her throat, which she swears she can still feel. Plus now they won’t let her eat in case they have to do any tests that require fasting, and the terrible tasting cherry on top-miserable pun not intended-is that now she’s been told she has to stay overnight.

Tessa’s already sent her mother home for the night (“Seriously, mom, I feel fine and the nurses’ station is _right there,_ one of us should get to sleep in a real bed tonight”) and she’s lying awake staring at the ceiling in the not-quite-dark when she hears her door open and a familiar voice calls out. “Tess?”

“Scott?” Quickly Tessa makes sure her hospital gown is covering everything important and sits up in the bed as his face appears around the drawn privacy curtain. “How did you get in here? It’s way past visiting hours!”

“I mean, I can leave if you don’t want me here,” he jokes, and Tessa sticks her tongue out at him.

“Of course I want you here. You just surprised me, that’s all.” She scoots over as much as the narrow bed will allow and pats the spot next to her.

Scott obliges, lowering the bed rail and maneuvering his body onto the uncomfortable mattress next to her, while she fiddles with the controls to raise the bed enough that they can recline side by side. “I just really wanted to see you.”

“I really wanted to see _you,”_ Tessa says, nudging him with her shoulder to cover up just how happy those words made her feel. “I’d have called you, but by the time they told me I had to stay I figured you’d have gone out already.”

“No way, I wouldn’t go out without you,” Scott says, and her heart swells even more. “It wouldn’t be the same. So have they told you what it might be?”

“No,” Tessa laments. “They won’t even give us a guess. They took a lot of blood and shoved a tube down my throat, and they said tomorrow they might do more imaging? I don’t know, I was pretty tired and cranky by then.”

Scott goes quiet, turning that over in his head. “Tess,” he says, and there’s an unsettling gravity to his voice, “You know I’d do anything for you, right?”

Tessa giggles nervously. “I mean...yeah, I’d do anything for you, too.”

“You mean that?” he asks, and Tessa knows she has no idea what he’s really talking about but she nods anyway.

“Of course I mean it,” she tells him. “What brought this on?”

Scott smiles at her, and brings a hand up to brush at her cheek with his thumb as though he’s smoothing away a stray hair. “Nothing,” he says. “You should get some sleep.”

“I’m not tired, though,” she protests, but she yawns even as the words leave her mouth. Scott lowers the head of the bed and hops out, replacing the bedrail.

“Goodnight, Tess,” he whispers, but she’s already asleep.

 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 

The next morning Kate is already seated in the chair next to the bed when Tessa wakes up. “Good morning, sleepyhead!” she says, with a forced cheerful tone. “How are you feeling?”

The overly happy greeting immediately puts Tessa on edge, and she notices her mother’s red-rimmed eyes. “Good morning,” she replies. “I feel great, I slept really well...are you okay?”

“Me? Oh, yes, I’m fine,” her mother says, but Tessa picks up the slight waver in her voice. “I just didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Mom, I can tell you’re upset,” Tessa says, fear starting to rise in her chest. “What’s wrong?”

Her mother sits quietly for several long seconds before answering. “I spoke to an oncologist this morning about your test results,” she says finally.

“An oncologist,” Tessa repeats. “But...don’t they treat cancer?”

Kate’s eyes fill with tears as realization begins to dawn on Tessa. “Yes, they treat cancer,” she says, blotting at her eyes with a tissue, voice thick with emotion. “Honey...they found some tumors. But we’re going to do some more tests, and talk about treatment options today,” she adds quickly, as Tessa blinks at her, shocked.

“They found tumors,” Tessa says, numbly. “Where?”

Kate swallows hard. “On your pancreas,” she says.

“Pancreatic cancer,” Tessa says. “Mom...isn’t that bad? I mean, really bad?”

“Now, don’t start thinking like that,” her mother says fiercely. “We’re going to do those imaging tests today, and then we’ll know more.”

The rest of the day is a blur. Her sister and some of her school friends come by to visit, but Tessa asks them to leave after only half an hour because pretending she’s fine and happy is just too much. The CT scan is even more unpleasant than the scope - the injection they give her makes her feel funny, and she didn’t realize she was claustrophobic until she slid into the machine and almost had a panic attack.

Although maybe it wasn’t claustrophobia, but fear of what the CT scan would show, because some part of Tessa already knows what the results will be.

Her father shows up to the hospital before the doctors come back to talk to them. “Hey, sweetheart,” he says to her, and Tessa is surprised at how much resentment she feels at her father’s presence.

“What are you doing here?” she blurts out before she can stop herself. “Don’t you have another family to worry about?”

“Hey, now,” he says, sounding irritated. “Your mother told me what’s going on and I thought you might want your dad to come support you.”

“Well, I don’t,” Tessa retorts. “We haven’t spoken in six months. You didn’t even call on my birthday.”

He sighs. “I know I haven’t been the best father since your mother and I split up,” he says, “but you’re still my baby girl and I’m going to be here if anything happens to you.”

“Nothing’s happening to me. I’m fine, so you might as well go.” The bitter words spill out of Tessa like a waterfall, two years of pent up anger she didn’t realize she had.

Before her father can respond, Kate comes in the room and motions for him to come with her. “The doctors want to speak with us.”

Both of them leave the room, pulling the door closed but leaving it open a crack. Tessa’s IV hasn’t been replaced since the CT scan, so she slips out of the bed as quietly as she can and creeps over to the door, hoping they haven’t gone far.

They’re not outside in the hall like Tessa had expected, so she opens the door and pads out of her room in her scratchy hospital-provided socks, holding her gown closed in the back. She looks up and down the hall for a few minutes before she hears the faint tone of her mother's’ voice floating out of one of the smaller family waiting rooms.

Tessa presses herself against the wall next to the cracked door to try to hear as much as she can. _It’s my body, I deserve to know what’s going on._

“-when she was dancing and staying up all night with her friends just a couple of weeks ago? There has to be a mistake,” she hears her mother say.

“Mrs. Virtue, I know this is difficult to hear, but the fact is that pancreatic cancer has such a low survival rate because it’s very aggressive, and often spreads before it can be diagnosed, particularly in adolescents,” a male voice says. “The CT scan shows that it’s spread to Tessa’s liver and sternum.”

All the air leaves Tessa’s lungs, and she puts a hand over her diaphragm, trying to recall from health class where her pancreas is when she hears her father.

“What about treatment? Can you remove the tumors? Chemo, radiation, anything?” There’s a desperate, pleading tone to his voice that somehow scares her more than anything the doctor just said.

“At this stage, it’s inoperable,” a new, female voice says gently. “Chemotherapy and radiation is an option, but it would likely only gain you another month, maybe two at the most-and it would be very hard on Tessa.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Virtue,” the male voice says, and Tessa knows her parents are shocked because her mother doesn’t bother to correct him, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but palliative care is the best choice for Tessa. We can improve her quality of life as much as possible so she’s comfortable for the months you have left.”

 _Months. He said months._ Slowly Tessa slides down the wall until she’s sitting on the cold tile floor. _I only have months to live. I need Scott._

Inside the room she can hear her mother begin to sob, and that’s when the tears begin to flow for Tessa, as well. She’s not sure how much time has passed when her parents finally walk out of the room, faces ashen, and find her there on the floor, face sticky with tears.

She looks up at them. “I need Scott,” is all she says, and her mother’s face crumples again as she realizes Tessa heard everything.

“Oh, baby,” is all her mother can say as she joins Tessa on the hallway floor, wrapping her arms around her distraught daughter. “Oh, my baby.”

They sit, and they cry, for themselves and each other until there are no more tears, and then her father helps the both of them up and they walk slowly, reluctantly, back to Tessa’s hospital room.

 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 

Scott is somehow already in her room when they walk in, and her father goes to tell him to leave but Tessa stops him. “Can you guys go out in the waiting room for a little while? I want to talk to Scott alone.”

Her parents begrudgingly obey her request and leave, even closing the door behind them. Tessa can’t even look at Scott just yet, instead climbing into her bed and laying on her side, facing away from him.

As always, he knows exactly what she needs, getting onto the bed and wrapping his arms around her from behind. His chest is pressed to her back, and she can feel the warmth seeping into her back where it’s still cold from being pressed to the wall.

“It’s bad news,” she says finally.

“I know,” he says. “How bad?”

“Pancreatic cancer,” she says, and feels him draw a sharp breath. “The doctors said I have months.”

“No,” Scott breathes into the back of her neck. “Months?” His arms tighten around her, but she wiggles loose a little to turn and face him.

“They said it’s inoperable, that treatment would only give me a couple more months,” she says, and his eyes are somehow both terrifying and tender at the same time, causing the tears to rise in her throat again. “I’m gonna die, Scott.”

He pulls her close while she sobs, letting her tears soak into his shirt. “You’re not going to die,” he whispers fiercely into her hair. “I won’t let you.”

 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 

The silver bell above the door rings with a melodic tone as Scott walks into the little shop, past the shelves of various herbs and tables full of crystals and new age books towards the counter in the back.

“Hey, Scott!” Kaitlyn greets him with a smile. “What can I do for you today?” Her face falls as she sees his serious expression. “Is everything okay?

“Tessa’s sick,” he says. “It’s cancer.”

Kaitlyn’s eyes widen in alarm, and she looks back and forth to make sure no one else in the shop was within hearing range as she pulls him into the back room, where all the real goods are kept. “Are you crazy?” she hisses. “What do you think we can do for her?”

“I just thought you might have something, anything. She’s got months left, Kaitlyn.” He’d gone to this shop specifically because he knew Kaitlyn shared his sympathies towards humans.

Kaitlyn presses her lips into a straight line. “Why are you here, Scott?” she asks, and he knows why she’s asking.

“Because I’m in love with her, Kaitlyn,” he says softly. “You out of anyone should be able to understand that.”

She recoils, just a little. “Look, having feelings towards them is one thing, those can be hidden easily enough. But interfering with their lives like that? _Saving_ one like that?” She shakes her head. “I’m sorry, Scott. I can’t help you.”

Kaitlyn begins to walk away, but Scott grabs her arm. “Can’t, or won’t?”

“Both,” she says firmly. “I’m a witch, not a god, Scott. Even magic has limitations. And if there was something, I wouldn’t give it to you. You’d get us all put to death.”

Scott lets go of her arm, and his shoulders sag. Kaitlyn wraps her arms around him. “I’m so sorry, Scott. That’s the risk we run, getting attached to a human.”

“Yeah.” He hugs her back weakly, then turns to leave. “Thanks anyway.”

As he walks out of the back room and through the shop doors, the bell mournfully signalling his exit.

 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 

It’s only been a month, but Tessa can already feel herself going downhill fast. She could no longer walk up and down stairs without feeling winded, so her family had swapped hers and Jordan’s room on the first floor. She spent most of the day in bed, reading or surfing the internet. She’d wondered occasionally what she would do if she knew how much time she had left to live, and it certainly wasn’t this.

Not only that, her sleep schedule was blown to hell because she kept falling asleep during the day, and then being unable to sleep at night, when the house was quiet and all she had were her spinning, morbid thoughts.

It’s late on one of these nights when she hears a familiar rhythm tapped out on her window, and she gets out of bed to let Scott in.

“What are you doing here so late?” she asks. “And why the window? I’m dying, I could guilt my mom into letting you spend the night if you wanted.”

“That’s not what this is about,” he says, and his tone instantly makes her take notice. “There’s something I have to tell you.”

“What could you possibly have to tell me that couldn’t wait until tomorrow? I mean, I’m still gonna be alive tomorrow,” she says sarcastically.

“Will you sit down, please?” He pulls her desk chair out and swivels it around to face her bed. Tessa reluctantly does what he asks and sits on her bed, staring at him with trepidation.

“I need you to understand something,” he says. “You’re already feeling weak, right?” She nods. “It’s only going to get worse. In another month you won’t be able to get out of bed. As the cancer spreads it’ll start to hurt, you’ll be in pain all the time. They’ll have to give you pain medication-”

“Stop it! _Stop,”_ Tessa hisses. “Why are you doing this?” Angry tears run down her face as she absorbs the horrible things her best friend is saying to her.

“Because you deserve to know what it’s going to be like,” he says, “and because I have a way to save you. But you’re not going to like it.”

Tessa slumps down, tired of hearing about whatever miracle cure somebody’s read about. “And what is it?”

“Tessa,” he says calmly, “I’m a vampire.”

A loud, sardonic laugh escapes her, and she clamps her hand over her mouth, hoping she hadn’t woken anyone up. “That’s not funny, Scott.”

“I’m not joking,” he says, still calm. “I’m a vampire. I drink blood to survive.”

“I’ve seen you grow up,” she tells him. “You’re out in the sun with me all the time. I’ve seen you eat food-”

“It’s not like the movies, Tessa,” Scott interjects. “I was born, just like you. I don’t need to eat food, but I do because I like it.”

“Your favorite food is garlic knots,” Tessa says weakly, as it sinks in that Scott is completely serious.

“Garlic doesn’t repel us, sunlight doesn’t burn us. I’m just like you in a lot of ways, I just happen to need human blood to survive.” He opens his mouth to reveal a pair of fangs that have somehow sprouted where his canines were. “And we don’t get cancer.”

“Get out.” Her voice is pale, weak, but unmistakable. “Get. OUT.”

“Tessa, I’m still me!” Scott says, desperate now. “Please–if you let me turn you, it’ll cure your cancer. You’ll be healthy again. _Better_ than healthy.”

“ _GET OUT!”_ Tessa screams, this time not caring who she wakes up, and sure enough she hears her mother rush down the stairs.

“Tessa? What’s wrong?” Her mother opens the door but doesn’t seem to see Scott, who is directly in her line of sight.

“Tell Scott to get out and never come back,” Tessa says, but her mother doesn’t respond.

“Oh, I’m so sorry you’re having nightmares, dear,” Kate says.

“What?” Her response baffles Tessa. “It’s not a nightmare, mom, I want Scott to leave.”

Kate smiles at her. “I’m glad you’re feeling better. Sleep well.” She closes the door and Tessa can hear her walk back up the stairs.

Tessa looks at Scott. “What did you do?”

“I made her see and hear something that wasn’t there. It’s part of what we can do.” He stands up. “I’ll leave. I’m sorry, I knew it was going to upset you, and if you never want to see me again, I’ll understand. But this is something you were never supposed to know, and I am putting my life on the line to save yours.” Scott looks her directly in the eyes, and now his own are a warm honey brown. “Because I love you.”

“You...what?” Tessa asks, but Scott is already climbing out the window.

“I love you, Tessa,” he says again, “but I won’t come back unless you want me to.”

And then he’s gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 to be coming very, very soon! (As in, tonight or tomorrow!)
> 
> Title is from "In My Veins", by Andrew Belle  
> Chapter title is from "First Defeat" by Noah Gundersen
> 
> Yell at me on Twitter, @MissSixFics!


	2. more than life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, here's where we go off-script. I hope it's a fulfilling conclusion.
> 
> Also, since we're dealing with vampires here, lots of mentions of blood and drinking blood and whatnot so please do not proceed if you're squeamish.
> 
> Also also, this is unedited and I just wrote 10k words in a little less than 48 hours, so if you find any mistakes, I'm probably not gonna fix them anytime soon :) But, you know. I might eventually.

It’s been ten days since her best friend climbed through her window and told her he’s a vampire, and Tessa doesn’t think anything else in her life can possibly be flipped on its head.

“Are you sure you don’t want Scott to come over? What happened between you two?” her mother asked. Scratch that, her mother advocating for Scott is definitely bizarre.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she says. “Just...he’s not who I thought he was.”  _ Boy, is that an understatement. _

“I find that hard to believe, considering you two ran thick as thieves for most of your life.” Kate finishes arranging the fresh flowers she bought after work to brighten up Tessa’s room, and turns to her daughter, hands on her hips. “It’s just not good for you to be cooped up in here all by yourself. Your sister’s hardly even seen you.”

“That’s because she doesn’t want to see me.” Tessa has the sneaking suspicion that seeing her is too difficult, so Jordan just prefers not to see her at all. Not that she could blame her, really. Seeing Jordan was pretty difficult for her, too, knowing that her sister would continue to grow up and have a life that Tessa wouldn’t be a part of.

“That’s not true, your sister loves you,” Kate says, sitting on the bed, where Tessa lies listlessly.

“Yeah, well, you can’t always count on people who love you,” she retorts, and her mother sighs.

“Please just come for a walk with me tomorrow, okay? Some fresh air would be good for you.” Kate looks at her expectantly, and Tessa knows she won’t leave until she gets an answer, so finally she nods and her mother finally leaves the room with a goodnight and a kiss on the head.

Tessa gets out of her bed with no small effort to sit at her desk–Scott was right about one thing, the pain is already starting to creep in. Her appetite is gone, she’s losing weight...Tessa knows that isolating herself isn’t helping things, but it hurts to see her friends and hear about their lives and their plans when she can’t make any of her own for the future.

Pulling a notebook out of one of her desk drawers, Tessa flips it open to an empty page and writes “Last Will and Testament” at the top. She’s spent the last few days deciding what’s important enough to leave to someone, and who gets what, but as she looks at the page her mind goes blank.

_ Because I love you. _

Scott’s voice pops into her head unbidden, the words curling around her heart, chipping away at her resolve. He’s kept his promise to stay away–she hasn’t so much as gotten a text from him since the night he told her he loved her and climbed out her window.

She’d cried for the first three days straight, but anger and pride had kept her from reaching out to him. The anger has faded, but her pride was still intact...for now. Pride didn’t keep the questions from swirling in her head, or make his offer of a cure any less tantalizing. Could he really make her healthy again? What else can he do, besides make people see and hear things that aren’t real? What did he mean, that he was putting his life on the line for her?

Minutes tick by as Tessa taps her pen against the notebook, ruminating on all of her uncertainties and grief and fear. She doesn’t have the answers to any of those questions…but she knows who does.

She grabs her phone from where it’s charging on the desk and bites her lip, hesitating.

_ I love you, Tessa. _

Before she can change her mind, she types out a text message.  **_Come over?_ **

The reply is almost instantaneous.  **_Now?_ **

**_Midnight._ ** She smiles faintly at the irony of asking a vampire who can walk in the sunlight to come over in the middle of the night.

**_I’ll be there._ **

Tessa takes a deep breath, then turns to a fresh page in her notebook and starts making a list.

 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 

As promised, at midnight exactly Scott taps out his special knock on her window and she lets him in. They stand facing each other awkwardly for a moment, unsure of what to say or do, and then Tessa holds her arms out to him and he folds her into a tight hug.

“I missed you so much, Tess. So fucking much.” His face is pressed into the crook of her neck, and she turns her head to press hers against his cheek.

“It was only ten days, Scott,” she says, but she knows what he means. Ten days is a lot of time when you only have months left.

Tessa loosens her grip, and Scott releases her and takes a step back. “So did you think about it? What I said?”

“Well...I thought a lot about how you said you loved me. Because I love you, too,” she says, and he smiles at her confession. “I’ve been in love with you for years, Scott. I just never thought you’d feel the same way about me.”

Scott steps forward, and reaches out to tip her face up to his. “God, Tess, I’ve been in love with you for just as long. I just couldn’t do anything about it. But since the metaphorical cat is out of the bag…” he trails off as he presses his lips to hers in a kiss, a real kiss that deepens and sends electricity coursing through Tessa’s body. 

She reaches up to clutch his arms as the room spins and every nerve in her body is alive with the most intense sensation she’s ever felt, so intense she has to pull away. “What the hell was that?” she asks shakily. She’s kissed boys before, but it had never felt anything like  _ that. _

“I don’t know,” Scott says, sounding just as shaken. “That’s never happened before.”

Tessa shakes her head, trying to clear it for the talk that has to happen. “Um. Anyway, I have a lot of questions.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you do.” He sits down on the bed. “Did you color code them or just alphabetize them?”

“Ha, ha,” Tessa says sarcastically, but sets down the notebook she’d just picked up and sits next to him. “Well, first of all, what did you mean that I wasn’t supposed to know, and that you were putting your life on the line?”

Scott looks down. “That’s kind of a complicated answer. Vampires...we’re not the only beings that humans think are just scary stories. Witches, werewolves–all real. And we all live under two laws: First, we don’t tell humans that we exist. And the second, as a consequence of the first law: Don’t fall in love with one of them.” 

“What happens if you break one of those laws?” Tessa asks, a cold knot settling in her stomach.

“Execution,” Scott says, “by whatever means will kill us.”

“Oh,” Tessa says, finally understanding the full weight of what Scott has already done for her. “Oh.”

“Yeah. So this isn’t something I’m doing on a whim.” He looks over at her. “Next question?”

“I know you said it’s not like the movies, but we’ve grown up together. But then you also said you wanted to...turn me. How does that work?”

“So there are two different kinds of vampires–the kind like me and my family are called lamia. Born vampires.” Tessa flinches a little at the realization that Scott’s family are vampires, as well. “We age and grow up just like humans, but we’re able to stop aging at will. If we do that, we’re effectively immortal. Otherwise we just have much longer lifespans.” He reaches out to take Tessa’s hand. “Made vampires, on the other hand, stop at whatever age they are when they’re turned.”

“So I’d be seventeen, forever?” She’s not sure how she feels about that. “What about you, would you keep getting older?”

“No,” he says softly. “I’d stop right along with you.”

Tessa finds this weirdly romantic, but moves on to the next pressing issue. “And I’d have to drink blood. Human blood.”

“Well, yes. But,” he continues, “As long as we space it out right, it doesn’t require you to kill a person. You can just take a little at a time, and you’ll be able to make them forget it even happened.”

Something occurs to Tessa. “So all your girlfriends…”

He looks down again. “Yeah. Not real proud of that. But it was a way to feed without raising suspicion, plus it helped me pretend to my parents that I didn’t care about you as anything more than a friend.”

Tessa flops backward onto her bed. “This is...a lot.”

“Yeah, it’s a lot of information to absorb, I know.” Scott lies down on the bed next to her. “There’s something else we haven’t talked about, and again–you’re not going to like it.”

“It can’t be worse than finding out your best friend you’ve known all your life is a vampire.” She turns her head to look at him. “Can it?”

“If we go through with this, if I turn you, you’d be an illegally made vampire. We’d have to make your family believe you’re dead, and go on the run.”

Tessa sits back up abruptly. “What? No! I can’t put them through that! Can’t I just...I dunno, swear them to secrecy? We can figure out the whole not-aging thing later!”

“No, Tess-” Scott sits up to look her in the eye. “-If anyone were to find out that your family knows, if any of the elders caught wind of it, they’d be killed. All of them. And us, too.”

Tessa’s body seems to deflate as she exhales. “So I can either die for real, or I can live forever but everyone I know will think I’m dead.”

“I’m sorry, Tess.” Scott wraps his arms around her and buries his face in her neck again. “It’s selfish of me, I know. I just–I can’t lose you.”

Tessa loops her arms around his waist and pulls him closer. “It’s selfish of me, too. Because I want it.” She nudges him with her shoulder to make him look up at her. “What else can vampires do? Besides mind control?”

Scott gives a quiet laugh. “It’s not really mind control, it’s more planting suggestions. Most of the time it’s easier to just give them an illusion of something that isn’t actually there. It’s more like manufactured hallucinations.” He lets go of Tessa to sit and think. “We’re much stronger than humans, and faster–that’s how I was able to catch you and the plate when you almost collapsed a month ago. We heal quickly, too,” he adds.

She swallows hard, sucks in her bottom lip to chew on it lightly as she thinks. “Well,” she finally says, voice shaking, “sign me up.”

Scott lights up, but there’s still caution in his eyes. “Are you sure, Tess?” he asks. “One hundred percent positive? I don’t want to pressure you into this.”

“Scott,” she says calmly, “I’m in love with you. I’m still sad about never seeing my family again, but an eternity with you is better than dying.”

“Okay,” he says, and a delighted grin spreads slowly across his face. “Okay.”

“What about your family?” Tessa asks. “Will they get in trouble for this?”

Scott shakes his head. “They don’t know I’m doing this. If they get questioned, they’ll be able to say I acted alone. So I won’t get to see my family again, either.”

Tessa turns that over in her head for a moment. “You’re giving up everything for me,” she says finally.

“I told you, I’d do anything for you.” His love is written across his face so clearly it makes her heart clench.

“So, um...how do we do this?” Tessa feels awkward again, like they’re discussing how to have sex. “Do you just...drink from me?”

“Yes, but then you drink from me, too,” Scott explains. “It’s an exchange. Once my blood is in your system, it’ll start to take over. We do that three times, and then it’ll be complete and you’ll be a full vampire.” He puts an arm around her waist and pulls her close. “It’s okay. I promise it won’t hurt.”

Tessa takes a deep breath and tilts her head to expose her neck, bracing herself when she feels Scott’s lips on her throat.

But he’s right, it doesn’t hurt. In fact, it feels...good.

_ Really _ good.

It’s almost the same sensation she had when they kissed, her nerves are on fire but the energy running through her veins is soft and sweet, she can  _ feel _ how much he loves her-

_ I do love you. So much. _

It’s Scott’s voice, but he obviously hasn’t said anything, since his mouth is still otherwise occupied.  _ Was that you? _

_ Yes. This connection...it’s incredible. I’ve never felt like this before. _ His arms wrap around her waist as he pulls away from her neck, panting slightly.

“You were right,” Tessa murmurs, “that didn’t hurt at all.” She reaches up to feel where he’d bitten her, but her skin is smooth, as though nothing happened.

She looks at him questioningly. “Vampire magic,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows, and she smacks him lightly on the arm. “Actually, I bit my lip and put a little of my blood on the wound. Closes it right up.” 

“That’s amazing. Now...I drink from you, right?” she says, wincing a little at the thought

“Yeah,” Scott answers. “Here.” He uses his thumbnail to slice open a vein in his wrist, making Tessa wince again as he brings it up to her mouth.

She’s expecting the coppery tang she’s tasted before, but it’s nothing like that at all. He tastes like warmth, deep and smoky and sweet–but beyond that, she feels herself fall into him, and his mind is right there in front of her, glowing like a candle flame.

_ Tess. It’s always been you. _ She knows it’s the truth because it’s coming from the deepest part of him, and she sees herself through his eyes, emerald-eyed and brilliant, his dancing muse with a backbone of steel.

She’s disappointed when he pulls his arm away, wishing she could bask in his heat just a little longer, but Scott shakes his head.

“That’s all for now,” is all he says, and Tessa can tell he’s a little embarrassed.

“Is that what it was like when you drank from me?” she asks, and he nods. “Is it like that every time?”

“No,” he says. “I don’t understand it, but it’s different with you. It’s like we just-” and he struggles to find the word- “we almost merge. I feel what you’re feeling, you feel what I’m feeling.”

“It’s the most incredible thing,” Tessa says, and she means it but she’s already yawning and her eyelids are drooping. “I’m sorry, I’m just so tired.”

“You need to rest, you’re starting to change already,” Scott says. “We’ll do this again in a week.” He pulls her sheets down and helps her into bed. “I love you. Sleep well.”

She tries to say goodbye, but she’s asleep before he’s finished climbing out the window. 

 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 

Over the next week, Tessa’s mood has improved so much it’s noticeable. She’s leaving her room more, having friends over, even trying to spend more time with Jordan.

“What is up with you?” Jordan asks, after the third time Tessa suggests a movie night. “I mean...I’m glad you’re not so sad anymore, but are you sure you’re feeling all right?”

“I feel fine,” Tessa says. “I mean, as fine as I can feel. I just want to enjoy the time I have left, what’s wrong with that?”

Jordan flinches at the mention of the time Tessa has left, but gives her a small smile. “Nothing, I guess. Sure, let’s do a movie night.”

It’s eating Tessa up inside to have to keep such a huge secret from her family, but she is glad she still has time to spend with them, and she’s determined to make it count.

Her time spent with Scott, on the other hand, is spent planning where they’ll go and what they’ll do  _ after _ . That’s how Tessa thinks of it–there’s her now, and then there’s her  _ after. _

“Let’s run away to the states for a while,” she says, as they lounge on her bed. “I’ve always wanted to go to New York.”

“We’ll hit both coasts,” Scott says. “New York, San Francisco...We can go everywhere.”

“Paris?” she asks, cuddling into his side. “Rome?”

“Anywhere you want,” he murmurs, kissing her lightly on the lips.

Tessa tries to savor these days, where Scott is by her side and she’s in her familiar house with her family and she can almost pretend she’s just a normal girl living a normal life.

By a week later, her pretend life is starting to ring hollow, and the knowledge that she’s lying to everyone is starting to wear on her. 

“I know,” Scott says to her. “But we do the exchange tonight, and then it’s only another week.”

“So how–how are we going to make everyone think I’ve died?” Tessa asks. It’s the only thing they haven’t discussed.

“The last stage of the transformation actually looks a lot like death,” Scott tells her. “And it is, sort of. The human part of you dies and the vampire part takes over. I’ll plant a suggestion in your head to stay in that hibernation until I wake you up, so you don’t wake up in a coffin.”

Tessa shudders; she hadn’t thought about that part. “Yes, please don’t let me wake up in a coffin.”

“I won’t, I promise. I’ll make this as painless for you as I possibly can.” He wraps his arms around her and nuzzles his face into her neck. “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” she says firmly, and she means it. “I’m ready.”

 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 

The next week is harder to manage than the first, as Tessa begins to notice herself changing. She has more energy, her senses are heightened, and she keeps forgetting to conceal these things from her family.

“I’ve read that a lot of times, cancer patients seem like they’re getting better right before they pass,” Tessa hears her sister whisper to her mother in the kitchen all the way from her room. “Do you think that’s what’s happening?”

“Don’t think like that,” her mother scolds. “If she’s feeling better, we should just be grateful for it.”

Tessa can’t help but think that her sister is right, just not in the way she thinks.

 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 

The last night (as Tessa thinks of it, but capitalized, her Last Night), she goes over the plan with Scott again. “So after this, I just fall asleep, and I don’t wake up until you wake me up.”

“Right,” he says. “Your mother will find you in the morning, and I’ll come over pretending that we had plans, so I can make sure everything goes smoothly and you stay intact.”

“What do you mean, ‘stay intact’?” Tessa asks, alarmed.

“I don’t know what your mother is going to want to do, and sometimes, an autopsy is performed as a matter of routine,” Scott says matter of factly, and the mental image makes Tessa clamp her hand over her mouth as tears rise in her eyes. Scott sees her fear and instantly regrets telling her that. “Hey, hey. It’s not going to happen, I promise. That’s why I’ll be there tomorrow. And I’ll break into a morgue to get you if I have to.”

His reassurance makes her feel a little better. “You better.”

“You know I would,” he says with a smile. “Now when you wake up, you’re going to need to feed immediately. I’ve got a contact at a blood bank who can get me a couple of bags, so you don’t try to eat the first person you see.” Scott takes a deep breath. “Everything’s covered. You don’t have to worry about a thing.”

Tessa nods, but she’s chewing on her bottom lip. “I’m still scared. Is that normal?”

“Of course it is, Tess. But you’ll still be you,” he tells her, “Just like I’m me. It’s like...you’ll be Tessa Plus,” he jokes, and she can’t help but giggle. “Come here. We need to get this done.”

This time as Scott drinks from her neck, her pleasure is cut with sadness.

_ What’s wrong? _ Scott asks in her head, and she sighs.

_ I’m just sad that this is the last time we’ll do this. I’ll never get to feel your mind like that again, _ she thinks, and she feels him agree with just a tinge of regret.

_ I know. But once you’ve turned, we’ll still be able to talk like this. I’ll teach you how. _

The idea that they’ll be able to talk without talking makes her feel some relief, that they’ll still have a connection.

When Tessa drinks from him, she basks in the warmth of his mind.  _ For having to drink people’s blood, you’re so  _ **_good_ ** _ ,  _ she thinks, and she can feel his amusement.

_ Well I’m glad you think so. I don’t feel good all the time. _ Reluctantly he pulls his wrist away from Tessa, using his thumb to wipe away the tiny amount of blood still on her lips and then kissing her gently.

_ Now sleep. Sleep and don’t wake up until you hear my voice again, _ he tells her with his mind, and immediately her eyes begin to close and she starts to fall to the side.

Scott catches her, laying her down gently and tucking her in, trying to make it look like she fell asleep on her own. She takes a breath, then another, then shudders as the last of the oxygen leaves her body. 

For a moment Scott panics–what if he did it wrong? What if she’s truly dead? But then he feels it, that tiny spark deep inside of her that is purely  _ Tessa _ and he relaxes.

_ Now we do this for real, _ he thinks as he lets himself out of her window.

 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 

Scott has never felt so conflicted in his (admittedly short, for a vampire) life. 

On the one hand, he’s saved Tessa from a slow, painful death. And if their connection means what he thinks it means...he gets to spend an eternity with the girl he was made to love.

On the other, he’s about to experience Kate and Jordan’s immense grief and suffering when they discover that Tessa is, for all intents and purposes, dead in her own bed.

At the moment, he’s parked around the block, waiting and listening for Kate’s wails of grief, and hating himself for it.

“You should get up, Tessa. Tessa?” Scott doesn’t wait to hear the worst of it, just starts up his car and drives slowly towards the Virtues’ house.

It’s Jordan that answers the door. “Scott,” she says, and her face is streaked with tears, “Tessa...Tessa is…”

Scott shakes his head slowly. “No,” he says, and he doesn’t have to pretend, not really, just remember how he felt when Tessa told him she only had months to live. “No, she can’t be. I just talked to her last night. We made plans…”

Despite Jordan’s ambivalence towards him in the past, she reaches out her arms and collapses sobbing into Scott when he reaches for her.

_ It’s a kind of death, _ he thinks to himself.  _ Nothing will ever be the same after this. _

 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 

Manipulating the room full of people that had all been called in to deal with Tessa’s death had been no small feat, but Scott had managed it, and was even able to plant the idea in Kate’s head that a quick service was a good idea (an act that he felt incredibly guilty about, but there was no way he was leaving Tessa in a mortuary for a week). There was no autopsy, no embalming, and the night after the service (during which Scott was genuinely emotional–Tessa had been much loved, and Kate’s eulogy actually brought him to tears) the rest of The Plan is being set in motion.

Except for one small hiccup.

“What do you mean you can’t get me anything?” Scott asks his friend Paul over the phone.

“I’m sorry, man,” Paul says. “Supply is low right now.”

“Not even one bag?” Scott pleads.

“There’s no way I could sneak even one bag out without it being noticed, and bringing everything right down on my head,” Paul tells him. “I wish I could help you out, but I just can’t do it.”

“Thanks anyway.”  _ Fuck. _

He has to keep going, because every hour Tessa’s in the ground, the hungrier she’ll be when she comes out. Scott tosses his bag of equipment over the cemetery fence and then vaults over after it.

Even with a vampire’s strength and endurance, it takes quite a while to dig up a grave. Scott breathes a sigh of relief when his shovel finally hits the top of the concrete vault.

Clearing the rest of the dirt from the top, Scott lifts the lid of the vault and straddles the opening, resting the lid on his back as he opens the coffin to reveal Tessa, still beautiful in her corpse-like state.

“Tessa,” he grunts, the concrete lid bearing down on his back. “Tess, you gotta wake up.”

Her eyelashes flutter and finally she opens her eyes, which are now an even more vivid shade of green. “Scott?” she asks. “What are you doing up there?”

“Getting you out of here,” Scott replies. “Can you climb out by yourself?”

“Yeah,” Tessa says, standing up stiffly and jumping to catch the edge of the hole Scott’s dug, and scrambling up the side and out of her own grave.

Scott kicks the lid of the coffin closed and replaces the vault lid, the jumps out of the hole himself. Tessa is standing with her arms crossed tight against her chest, looking around like a scared animal. 

“Hey,” Scott says gently, “Hey, kiddo. How are you feeling?”

“Hungry,” Tessa says in a strangled whisper. “So  _ hungry.” _

_ Shit. Well, time for plan B. _

 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 

It’s not a long drive but it feels like one, with Scott having to keep one hand on the wheel and one hand on Tessa’s arm to keep her from jumping out of the car every time she smells blood. She’s a sight already, with dirt and mud all over the light lavender dress she’d been buried in, and Scott is just glad he hasn’t been pulled over as he breaks every speed limit getting to his destination.

He’s still got a firm grasp on Tessa’s arm as he leads her to the back of the little shop, knocking on the wood door with a black flower painted on it.  _ Please don’t be gone, _ Scott says to himself, and breathes a sigh of relief when the door opens and a familiar blonde peers out at him.

Kaitlyn looks back and forth between Scott and Tessa, taking in the girl in the dirty dress who’s staring at her like she’s a five course meal. “You didn’t,” she says to Scott.

“I did,” he says grimly. “Can we please come in? I’ve got a good hold of her, I promise. She’s just hungry.”

“Well,  _ obviously,” _ Kaitlyn says, stepping aside so they can enter the back room of the shop. Closing the door, she fishes a piece of chalk out of her pocket and scrawls something on the door they just entered. “Protective sigil,” she explains. “Now what the  _ hell _ are you doing here?”

“It’s exactly what it looks like,” Scott says, a hint of desperation in his voice. “I was supposed to have bagged blood for her, but...that didn’t pan out. So I was hoping…”

“That I’d let her feed? Oh my god, Scott, I told you not to treat me like a buffet-”

“ _ Please, _ Kaitlyn, or she’s gonna kill somebody, and then she won’t be able to live with herself,” he begs. “I’ll make sure she doesn’t take too much.”

Kaitlyn sighs, then walks to the bottom of the steps leading up to the apartment above the shop. “Andrew,” she calls. “Can you come down here? I need a favor.” She looks over at Scott who’s gawking at her. “What? He’s here and there’s no way a little from me is going to tide her over.”

Andrew comes down the stairs in time to see Tessa drinking eagerly from Kaitlyn’s wrist. “What is going on down here?” 

Scott looks pointedly at Kaitlyn. “I guess it’s a good thing your  _ human _ boyfriend is here,” he says.

“Hey, I’m not the one changing  _ human _ girls into vampires willy-nilly,” she fires back. “You should probably stop her now.”

Tessa whimpers a little as Scott pulls her away, and Kaitlyn looks at Andrew. “Do you mind being a donor, just this once?” she asks. “I wouldn’t ask but she’s brand new and really needs it.”

Andrew looks between the three of them, sighs, and shrugs. “It’s not the weirdest thing you’ve asked me to do,” he says, seating his lanky body in the chair Kaitlyn’s just vacated.

He winces a little as Kaitlyn makes a shallow cut into a vein, and Tessa drinks, but not quite as greedily as before. She pulls away of her own accord his time, taking a deep breath as her whole body relaxes. “Thank you,” she says to Andrew and Kaitlyn. “Thank you both.”

“Yes, thank you,” Scott says, and pulls Tessa into a tight hug. “You’re okay now?” he whispers into her hair.

“I’m okay now,” she sighs into his neck.

Kaitlyn clears her throat deliberately, interrupting the romantic scene. “So crisis averted, for now, but what are you going to do? You are seventeen and nineteen, and she’s an illegally made vampire. Where are you planning to go?”

“Here’s the thing,” Scott says, looking between Tessa and Kaitlyn like he’s about to divulge a huge secret, “I’m pretty sure she’s my soulmate.”

Kaitlyn laughs out loud, and Andrew looks baffled. “That might as well be a fairytale,” Kaitlyn tells him. “It’s a one-in-a-million kind of rare, and between a vampire and a human? Not a chance.”

“Kaitlyn,” Scott says, and she stops laughing when she hears his tone, “It all fits. The room spinning? Feeling like your body’s on fire when you kiss? The mental connection, to the point of seeing each other’s minds? All there.”

“That’s...they’re just stories, Scott,” Kaitlyn says weakly, but her gaze keeps shifting to Andrew, who looks both very alarmed and very uncomfortable. “Those are all normal things.”

“It’s not normal, Kaitlyn,” Scott tells her, and the whole room falls silent.

Finally Kaitlyn speaks up. “Okay, look,” she says. “I’ve been hearing rumors of a coven that’s trying to mend relations between us and the humans. In the states, west coast. They’re saying the soulmate thing is getting more and more common. Here,” and she grabs a piece of paper off a table and scribbles down some names, “it’s a list of a few witches who won’t go tattle on you to the council. They’ve got a bit of a grudge against your elders,” she says with a wry smile.

“Thank you, Kaitlyn. So much.” Scott takes the paper and then hugs his friend.

“You two be careful, okay?” Kaitlyn says. “And if anyone asks, you were never here.”

“Of course not,” Scott says, leading Tessa out the door.

“Soulmate?” Tessa asks, once they’re back in Scott’s car. “Is there something you need to tell me?”

“It’s exactly what it sounds like, Tess,” he says. “They’re your person. They’re the one you didn’t know you needed, but after you find them, you’ll never be happy without them. And we’re just lucky we already liked each other, because that’s not a given.”

“Oh.” Tessa mulls this over for a moment. “I mean...I already knew that.”

Scott laughs. “So...west coast? Try to find this group that’ll help us out?”

“Sounds like as good a plan as any,” Tessa says. “I love you so much for doing all this.”

“I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t love you just as much,” Scott says, and he starts the car, driving them away from London and towards their future.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THEN THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. For real!
> 
> Yell at me on Twitter, MissSixFics!
> 
> Chapter title from "More Than Life", by Whitley.


	3. the very first words of a lifelong love letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue you deserve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had this whole bit planned for Kate and Jordan, and in my rush to get part 2 out I completely forgot about it, bad Lori! So here you go, the epilogue as promised.
> 
> Also, I literally cried writing the first half of this, so you might want to have some tissues ready.

Their first stop is Tessa’s house, where she’s stashed some clothes and a few things that wouldn’t be missed in a bag under her bed. She’d left the window unlocked that last night, knowing it would be some time before her mother could bring herself to go in there, so they quietly let themselves in.

Once Tessa has retrieved her things, she pauses. “Do I really just have to leave them like this, without a goodbye?” she asks, voice quavering.

Scott stands silent, an idea starting to form in his head. “There is one thing we can do,” he says. 

They steal upstairs, into her mother’s room first. Kate lies on her side, a box of tissues in front of her. Scott grabs Tessa’s hand. “Just close your eyes, and let your mind go,” he whispers to her, and she does as he says as Scott places a gentle hand on Kate’s forehead.

Murky images fill Tessa’s head at first, some nonsensical scenes and chatter, but then everything snaps into focus and she finds herself standing in front of her mother in a beautiful field of wildflowers.

“Tessa?” Kate asks hesitantly. “What are you doing here?”

“Hi, mom,” Tessa says, and steps forward to embrace her mother. “I’m so sorry I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. That’s why I’m here.”

“Oh, my baby girl,” Kate says in an incredulous whisper, squeezing Tessa tightly. “Oh, I can’t believe it. Is it really you?”

“Yes, mom,” Tessa says with a smile. “It’s really me. And I want you to know, I’m happy where I am. I’m not in pain anymore, and I’m filled with love,” she says, thinking of Scott and their connection. “So much love.”

“I miss you so much,” Kate says tearfully. “I wasn’t ready for you to go.”

“I wasn’t either, mom,” Tessa tells her, “and I miss you too. But I want you to know not to worry about where I am. It’s going to be hard, but you have to know I’m safe, and in a good place. Part of me will always be with you,” she adds, “and you’ll always be with me.”

Tessa can feel the connection fading, and she holds her mother a little tighter. “I have to go now, mom,” she says, “but I love you so much.”

“I love you too, baby,” her mother says. “I’ll always love you, and I’ll always carry you in my heart.”

“I’ll always have you in mine,” Tessa says, the field fading away. “Goodbye, mom.”

“Goodbye, my girl,” Tessa hears her mom say faintly as she settles back into her physical body, feeling tears running down her face. 

Tessa looks back as they leave her mother’s room, and while she can see the tears glistening on her mother’s cheeks, she can also see a contented smile on her lips. “Thank you,” she mouths to Scott, and he nods. “Of course,” he mouths back.

They cross the hall to Jordan’s room, where she’s sprawled restlessly across the bed, and Tessa takes Scott’s hand again and waits for her sister to appear.

“Oh my god,” her sister murmurs when she sees Tessa. “Is it really you, or am I just dreaming?”

“You are dreaming,” Tessa tells her, “but it’s really me.” The words have barely left her mouth when Jordan launches herself at her sister, flinging her arms around her in a desperate embrace.

“I’m so sorry, Tessa,” she sobs as Tessa holds her, “I’m so sorry I didn’t spend more time with you. I was just so scared, and seeing you made me more scared-”

“It’s okay, Jo,” Tessa cuts her off, “I understand. It was hard for me to see you, too. But I needed to come say goodbye.”

Jordan sniffles. “So you don’t hate me?”

“I could never hate you! You’re my sister!” Tessa exclaims, stepping away from the hug. “That’s why I’m here, to tell you not to feel guilty. I’m in a beautiful place, and there’s so much love here. Let go of that guilt, I couldn’t stand knowing you felt that way.”

“I’m so glad, Tessa,” Jordan says. “You’re okay? You’re happy?”

“I’m so happy,” Tessa says, “I’m not in pain, and everything is wonderful where I am.”

Jordan steps forward to hug her again. “I love you so much, Tess. You’ll always be my sister.”

“Of course I’ll always be your sister,” Tessa teases as the dream around her begins to disappear. “Part of me will always be with you, okay? Remember that.”

“I will,” Jordan says, “always. Goodbye, Tess. You were the best sister in the world.”

“Nuh uh, you are,” Tessa says. “Goodbye, Jojo.”

This time as the real world surroundings come back into focus, Tessa draws a deep, shuddering breath, and doesn’t speak until they get back to her room and shut the door. She turns to Scott and lets him envelope her in a warm embrace while she cries.

Finally she pulls away, grabbing a tissue from the box on her nightstand to clean her face with. “Thank you,” she says again to Scott. “Thank you for helping me say goodbye.”

“It’s what you all needed,” Scott says softly. 

As they get back into Scott’s car, he pulls out his phone. “I actually know one of the witches on Kaitlyn’s list,” he says, “and she’s our best chance to find more contacts to help us out, but…” he trails off, reluctant to finish his sentence.

“But what?” Tessa asks with a slight edge to her voice.”

“She’s an ex-girlfriend,” Scott admits. “Remember Jess?”

Jess had been the longest of Scott’s relationships–they’d been off and on for a couple of years. “I remember Jess. I liked her,” Tessa says cautiously.

“So that won’t be too weird for you?” he asks.

“Well...this soulmate thing means you’re pretty attached to me, like it or not,” Tessa teases him, “so I don’t think I have anything to worry about.”

A slow grin spreads across Scott’s face. “You’re taking this all better than I thought you would.”

“I feel like I can do anything if I’ve got you in my corner,” Tessa says, blushing slightly. “I mean, I know YOU think I can do anything.”

“You’re right, I do think that,” Scott says as he dials Jess’s number. “Hi, Jess? Yeah, I know it’s 3am, but I have a huge favor to ask you…”

 

**Three months later**

 

Tessa stretches as she wakes up–sleep really isn’t necessary anymore, but she enjoys it, plus she’s been practicing her dream projections. It’s a way to peek in on her family from time to time, to see how they’re doing, and to let them feel her presence when they’re struggling.

She gets out of bed and pads across the carpeted floor to the bathroom, something she still had to deal with even as a vampire. Their little apartment is nicely furnished, because–and this was something Tessa had been shocked to learn–Scott is loaded. He’d gained control of a trust fund set up for him when he turned 18, ostensibly for college but now it was funding their search for Circle Daybreak. He had it depositing to an offshore account, which was then routed through a number of other accounts to make it difficult if not impossible to trace them.

Tessa looks at herself in the mirror–she still looks like herself, but a slightly nicer looking version of herself. She no longer gets breakouts (a small but much appreciated attribute), and her creamy freckled skin seems to glow from within. Her eyes are just slightly different too, still green but a richer shade. 

As she walks out of the bathroom, Scott bursts through the door, startling her. “Jesus, Scott, you scared me!”

“I’m sorry,” and he’s apologetic but it doesn’t temper his excitement, “I think I found them.” 

A thrill runs through her. “Are you serious? Did you talk to them?”

“I think I spoke to one of them,” he admits, “but he knew everything we know, and he gave me an address for one of their safehouses. I’m headed there tonight.”

“You mean  _ we’re _ headed there tonight,” Tessa insists. “If you think this could be a trap, I’m not letting you go alone.”

Scott gets a sulky expression on his face, but knows Tessa’s not going to let this go. “Fine. But you have to hang back. No sense in letting them know there’s two of us.”

“Deal,” she says with a satisfied smile.

 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 

It’s past midnight, and they’ve parked a good distance away and are sneaking towards the address Scott has as quietly as possible. Tessa has to stop herself from giggling–she knows how serious this situation is, that they could both be put to death if this was a setup, but the whole situation feels so much like a spy movie that she can’t help but find it a little absurd.

They can see the back door of the building from down the alley, a white rose painted on the door. “Stay here,” Scott tells her. “Don’t come any closer unless I tell you to, and if there’s too many to fight, you run, got it?”

Tessa rolls her eyes but nods. “Yes. Okay. Be careful.”

“I will.” Scott silently makes his way towards the building, pressing the buzzer next to the door.

A voice comes through the intercom speaker in front of him. “The night is dark and full of danger.”

Scott finishes the pass phrase. “But the sun will always rise again.”

After a few heart clenching moments, the heavy metal door opens, and he’s greeted by a red-haired girl who looks to be about their age–but she is a vampire, and could be hundreds of years older. She looks him up and down with green eyes that are just a shade or two different than Tessa’s. “Scott Moir,” she says after her quick examination. “We were wondering when you would finally find us. And your Tessa is here too?”

“How do I know you are who you say you are?” Scott challenges her, ignoring her question.

“Because I’m illegally made, too.” She turns and lifts her hair so her can see that she lacks the black rose tattoo on the back of her neck, the one that all legally made vampires are given before they’re turned. “Plus I’ve heard your story, and I’m a softie at heart. Are you going to call her over to meet us?”

Scott hesitates for just a moment, then looks down the alley and motions for Tessa to leave her hiding place and approach them.

As she comes to the door, the red-haired girl looks her up and down. “They didn’t lie, you are gorgeous,” she says. “Come in, come in! I’m getting nervous standing here with the door open.”

They walk through the door to find they are in an actual house, albeit one that’s been reinforced to the gills, metal sheets over the windows with sigils on them and a set of monitors they can see in the living room, showing the area around the house from every angle.

Scott raises an eyebrow at the girl, and she shrugs. “We’ve got some humans here, remember? And they can’t hear everything happening for a three block radius. C’mon, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

As Tessa follows Scott and the girl into the living room where a small group has gathered, a warm feeling spreads through her chest, one she can’t place for a moment.

And then she realizes–the part of her always on edge, the one watching everything she says because anyone could be listening is melting away. They’ve found the circle, and people who understand what they’re going through, and she can finally relax.

Tessa’s with her soulmate, and she’s safe. She finally feels safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm playing with the mythology a bit here for plot purposes - the tattoo is not part of the official Night World mythology, I just needed a quick way to show they found who they were looking for. 
> 
> Chapter title is from "I Choose You" by Sara Bareilles.
> 
> Yell at me on Twitter, @MissSixFics!


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